shazAK

downloading a podcast to run to as i type…………. now i sit here. run one down. it kicked my but. i was and will be doing this with my two kids in a jogging stoller. so for this non runner it was hard. but i feel good right now

having a bad day.
well lets see……. a friends wedding? not enough. even though that was two years ago i swore i’d lose weight for that… then it was i’d lose before i got pregnant again…. that came and went. biggest loser with friends.. i ate chocolate and didn’t go to the gym. not remotely competitive. pity party day and no one came but me!!

ok tomorrow. tomorrow!!!!!! it’s go day. i need to do this. i will not buy the next size up. no way not gonna happen. won’t do it. must not do it.  i will do weight watchers at home by myself. continue with my class and walks. but i think i may try to find a running partner. i have ALWAYS hated running  and yet have had numerous dreams where i am running and it is like floating and i am loving the freedom and the feeling. i had one this weekend and woke thinking maybe this is something i need to do. . have mixed feeling i ran a bit when i was a teen but mostly so i wouldn’t think. run till i had to stop and cry it out, run and count steps so i wouldn’t have to think. so it is kinda scary hoping i don’t think of the reason and thoughts that drove me to run as a teen.

i have been carrying my last 10% keychain in hope of inspriartion. so i hope i can. i have a friend who can buy me the food pt book. wel……… here we go!!!!

one pound lost two pounds gained. yikes have to get a grip on myself and diet!! WW but i hate counting, portions, and can’t get my head around the feeling full thing.  didn’t go to the gym cuz a cold dreary day made me tired and dreary. hopefully we will go for a hike or something this weekend, bike any thing and hope the sun returns.  just an icky day.

well my scale was commandeered by my husband some months ago to weigh various amouts of dead meat: caribou, bear, and moose.  it has been resurrected from the bowels of our basement to rest in it’s rightful place in the bathroom.

so again i made it to the gym!!! late but made it to my class. still feels good.

i have no diet! i am in the “trying to be good” phase.  i want to do weight watchers but since i joined the gym and have to pay to put them in child care there is no money for WW. and i am not counting pts…. so….

i took a nice walk with the boys in the stroller. i am a bit sore for my class yesterday… it’s a cardio weight class. they call it group power. i will be going again tomorrow. the instructor was really helpful and the members were supportive.  now i did take a long walk and then came home and had several mini eclairs.  not good.

i used the food journal here the other day i guess i could journal and then figure out my pts.  i don’t eat bad most of the time… we don’t have to many sweets in the house because it is hard to funs sweets that SAFE for the lil one with the peanut, milk and egg allergy. so once those mini eclairs are gone there won’t be any more.

which is kind of a saving grace for me tilli stopped nursing and now can eat dairy and eggs again and all those wonderful sweeets that contain them. i am now 13 pounds away for pre #2 kid weight. i was ten but 3 pounds are thanks to that “new found freedom” that came with weening.  but at least i am no longer hunger every two hours no matter what i ate two hours prior.

well i weighted myself today and the cheese and dairy i have been eating put somewhere between 3-7 pounds depending on where i was when i started. i am usually between 182-186. not no more.

brighter side i went to a group class at the gym and loved it. challenging but felt so good after, it’s 8pm and i would love to go for a walk but need to wind the kids down and wait for the hubby to get home.

well this last week i finished breastfeeding, big deal here cuz for the last nine months i haven’t eaten dairy, eggs and peanuts. my lil one H is allergic to all these foods and their proteins filter into breast milk and made him miserable. peanuts no big deal i can easily refrain from eating what can kill him… but dairy and eggs were harder. i found that cooking with vegan food and still having meat worked. but a nutritional yeast “scheeze” sauce while yummy isn’t the same. but now i am weened and i can eat cheese so my diet is not on the best start so right now i am focusing on the time to exercise. i did get to the gym BUT…. i forgot H’s epi pens so i didn’t want to leave him in day care we walked the track for a bit and my gym has a family run so i did a few minutes on a sit down bike. today lil H and O went for a walk in the woods. H was in my kelty pack and O was walking along side doing his best wee naturalist impression. i guess this week i’ll get back on exercising and next week after i have all the exciting dairy and egg foods i have been missing i will… A. diet and B. stop eating them and go back to our semi vegan lifestyle. it is just so much easier raising H with out worrying what he is getting into and making two meals.